Photo by PINGGOT ZULUETA
MANILA, Philippines — When two lawyers coincide, they usually collide. In the argumentative world of law, there is always right and wrong. However, in a marriage between two lawyers like Paul and Dot Gancayco, they always meet in the middle.
The two first met way before they even became lawyers. It’s funny how destiny plays time with two people. Little did they know that their paths had already crossed thrice. “That was not the time for us yet,” Paul recalls.
Atty. Pablo Mejia Gancayco or “Paul” has his own law firm and he specializes in intellectual property. Ma. Dorothea Balasbas-Gancayco or “Dot” is currently the chief-of-staff at the office of Congressman Patrick T. Antonio. She is also the president and owner of Celebrations DOTcom, Inc, Events Company and Shine DOTcom Tutorial Enrichment and Music School.
Paul and Dot started out as singers before they went into law school. Paul was the president of the Ateneo High School glee club and Dot was the soloist of St. Joseph glee club. They first crossed paths in 1974 during the UP Concert Chorus. Paul was two years ahead of Dot. Their first encounter was not quite memorable since Dot was only 13 at the time. “Nene pa ako noon; wala pang mga love-love” Dot said.
Their second encounter was when Paul was in Thailand for a gig. He was recruited by a professional group called the Ambivalent Crowd and their group went on tour. When Paul left Thailand in 1977, Dot and her group entered in 1978. You might say it was another chance meeting that slipped through their fingers. When Paul was already in the UP College of Law, destiny took them both to the Malcolm Madness Christmas event. Dot joined a band that time and they were included in the show as guest performers. When Dot sang on stage, Paul was completely captivated. “That was the first time I noticed her. It was like she semi-seduced me when she sang; at that point, I felt that I should meet her” Paul explains.
Coincidentally, one of the male singers in Dot’s band is a fraternity brother of Paul and he was introduced to Dot. That night, however, they were just mere acquaintances.
When Dot finally entered the UP College of Law, that was when Paul made his move by being the helpful school mate who lends his books to her. Dot then joined the St. Thomas More study group where Paul was also in, and soon after, they were finally having some time together. “It was a vehicle for me to be more familiar with her,” Paul chuckles. He even commanded the president of their study group to be assigned to her and that’s when they both finally got to know each other. So you can just imagine how their past encounters could have been possible, but kismet had to be the one to lead them to the right time. “Third time’s a charm,” Dot exclaimed.
When Paul was in his fourth year, his batch decided to form a chorale group-- the only chorale group in a law school. And during that year, 1982, was when their relationship started. Paul would always take Dot out on dates to every Italian restaurant he knows because he knows that spaghetti was Dot’s favorite. It was only after they got married that Dot realized Paul was not a fan of Italian cuisine.
The two got married on April 4, 1987. The proposal was quite easy because Paul and Dot knew in their hearts that they are really meant for each other. They both have the same interests and careers; it is easy for them to get along. On their wedding night, the couple sang “Tonight I celebrate my love for you.”
During the first few months of marriage, it was a tad difficult for the couple to adjust because all of a sudden, they were living together under one roof. “It’s a big awakening,” Paul explains. It was also a huge adjustment for the couple. They stayed in the house of Paul’s parents for seven years. It was an advantage for them because they got to save money. In time, the couple finally got a dream house of their own; the lot was a gift from Paul’s parents.
Being busy with work, the couple usually spends time together in the events that they are both invited to. The fact that they are invited to so many events, they make these events their date nights. And with so many events that they both have to attend, Dot is the one who organizes all of them. “She is one of the most supportive wives ever,” Paul says.
There were also some challenges in their marriage when Paul’s work required staying late hours in the office. It only happened once a week; Dot did not like it but she tried to understand and she adjusted to it. And the challenge for Paul was the singing career of Dot back then. Even when they were already married, Dot still loved to sing and perform. She went back to singing when she became a Backroom artist. She would always sing at lounges, and Paul was very supportive of her even if she had to go home around 2 or 3 in the morning. “He knew that I love singing so much, so he did not stop me from doing what I want,” Dot explains.
Boy Abunda even launched Dot at “The Singing Lawyer” concert at the Music Hall. It was a very successful that it had a repeat the following month. Dot got pregnant the month after her second concert and that was when her singing career ended. “Pero okay lang naman because I really wanted to have another child,” Dot giggles.
The couple has two children: a boy and a girl. Gian Paolo is 24 years old and Bianca Micaela is 17. Paul and Dot make it a habit to see their kids every single day even if they sometimes come home in the wee hours of morning. As parents, Paul is the strict one and Dot is the one who would spoil the kids by buying them anything they want—as long as it’s good for them. They both tutor their kids. Gian Paolo was an Atenean and Bianca Micaela is currently studying at Philippine Science High School. “They’re both very smart so it wasn’t difficult for us to teach them. But when they reached high school, we hired tutors for them,” Dot says. Gian Paolo is now a successful businessman and Bianca Micaela is still in high school, but she is considering studying law in the near future. The family enjoys traveling together and they make sure that they get to travel out of the country annually. They also try to go to a mall and see a movie every Sunday as a family.
On Getting Married
He said: I always tell her that I only had one girlfriend… and I married her. When you are together for quite some time, it just comes in naturally. Kami na talaga eh. We reached that point that we’re quite inseparable, and we really care for each other. Para na rin kaming mag-asawa.
She said: We have the same interests. We’re both lawyers, we love singing, and we have the same set of friends. Parang kami na talaga; wala nang iba. It was meant to be.
On Resolving Conflicts
He said: We’re both lawyers; expected na yung mga away-away. But somehow we do resolve them. Pag hindi, tutulugan muna namin. There are times we don’t speak to each other for a few days. But a few days after, we’re like magnets—we attract each other.
She said: Sometimes it’s better to not speak to each other for a few days, minsan kasi pag mainit ang ulo, may masasabi ka na masakit. For me, it’s better that you just think it out first. Quiet lang muna, and then pag medyo okay na, that’s the time you talk. What I do is, I text to Paul what the problem is, mas okay na iyon kaysa magsigawan pa. (laughs)
On giving advice to other married couples
He said: In a relationship, you just have to be friends; getting to know is just a process. It’s an adjustment period. You have to learn how to accept and give and take. It’s just not the other person that should compromise. Spending quality time is very important, not only to your spouse but to your family as well.
She said: We don’t argue often because we know how to end arguments. It’s also very important to have a good sense of humor. We always laugh. I sing to him every morning with a cheerful “Good morning, daddyyy! How is my daddyyy?” (They both laugh.)
July 22, 2012
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